i am getting sick of it, every day, every mins, every seconds count..

today i went outing with Jimmy and his younger sister, ida , out to ipoh. an outing that i never planned to done during this weekend. but thinking back that i need to buy bus ticket for raya, and also thinking of buying gift for Kak Wan, my ex-roomate during my intern back in KL, so i decide to went off to ipoh.i am not that free at all. seriously. i am quite bz this month. week after week , makes me really tension and almost went crazy.sometimes i just can't control myself.i had enough.now i am tired. i am being sick being kind and sweet to people around me. whoever they are.i just getting sick of it,soo fcuked up.i am so angry and hated my self enough to makes me hate and angry all peoples around me.inside me , im burn, im soo uncontrolled that i think i may went crazy.seriously.i think myself become psycho, almost crazy, and totally mentally disturbed.=(

i should stop thinking bout what should i do, what i should not do.it just fcuking annoying.

i am so hating kind of people asking how longer the meeting would be, because it just shows their availability and commitment to the meeting is not hundred percent.at least,that's what i would interpret on my own view.that's y i hated it.that's also y i always soo have this sudden moods changes.it just so not right.i am too crazy to be normal.

i told myself over n over many times to learn on how to control my self much better, but it just didnt help anythin at all. fcuked myself, and hating myself for this kind of problem. sheet! =(

i am too tired to think straight. off up till now. hoping everythin will end up soon.